Getting Ready for Reality Show Stardom

As you loyal readers already know, Elle and recently took a trip to Hawaii. What you don't know is that I used that trip to train for Sylar's Bachelor, a new reality show that just premiered at the Burnt Toast Diner blog. You see, as my sweetie and I were touring active volcanoes and scuba diving, I used those as an opportunity to prepare for challenges. I'm going to play to win.

I wonder if I could be kicked off the show if Elle and I continue to date while Sylar's Bachelor is running, like what happened to that guy and girl on Tila Tequila...

What? Elle and I watched it at the hotel while we raided the mini-bar. For educational purposes.

Burnt Poetry

I want everyone to vote for my poem in the Burnt Toast Diner poetry contest, because it's the only poem not written by a robot.

How did I learn to be such a good poet? It's simple--I nearly failed English class twice. Those stupid robots didn't get my free alien spirit and would take points away from my epic, free form poems. But after awhile I learned enough styles of poetry and threatened to beam my teachers back to my home planet enough times that my grades got better.

So, please check out a work of poetic genius that will blow your pathetic robot minds.